We invite applications
from inspiring and dynamic scholars
for this exciting and prestigious position.
As well as holding a PhD
you will have a world-leading profile
for your creative and cutting-edge work.
You will also have
an exceptional track-record of teaching,
demonstrable leadership skills
and a proven ability to secure funding
and generate additional income streams.
You will also bring with you
highly-developed external networks
and experience of stakeholder management.
In addition you will have one or more
of the following superpowers:
levitation, shapeshifting, teleporting,
walking through walls.
You will be faster than a speeding bullet,
more powerful than a locomotive,
and be able to change the course of mighty rivers
and bend steel with your bare hands.
The capacity to leap tall buildings
in a single bound
may be an advantage.
Possessing powers and abilities
far beyond those of mortal men
but not essential.
This four-month post
and we are an equal-opportunities employer.
8 thoughts on “Job advert”
When is it due? I probably should put together an application for this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A 2 year trained teacher with 40 years experience could easily fulfil these requirements and more !
[…] have just read a poem by Joe Moran called ‘Job Advert’ which I found highly entertaining. So I have taken the liberty of copying the style of this poem […]
Job interviews will be held on top of the chard, for those who make it without ropes.
note for moderation: the building that is, rather than the stalk.
[…] recently read a poem by Joe Moran called ‘Job Advert’ which I found highly entertaining. So I have taken the liberty of copying the style of this poem […]
so scarily funny …